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Come Review with Me: A Come Dine with Me review by Andy Bremner

Come Dine With Me poster

Written by : published Wednesday 30th November 2011

I love cooking. It is a brilliant way to take the essential and mix it with theatre, performance and awe. You can make a simple meal into an event. It all gets mildly pretentious after a point though. You know what else is amazing though? Arguments! People who hate each other being forced to spend time together! 

Every instinct that has been bred into our very DNA should tell us that confrontation of this kind is a bloody bad idea. Every inch of our very being should find this sort of viewing incredibly awkward. Oh it is but my dear reader this is “Come Dine with Me.”  I know this programme has been out for a fair while but with all the recent interlopers into Come Dine with Me’s territory like “Four in a Bed” and this dire one I found where they all looked at someone’s house and decided they didn’t like it and rated them simply on their house, it’s time to remember Come Dine with Me and return to our roots with it.

The concept for those who have been living in a cave with a poor wi-fi signal (my house recently hence my piss poor post rate but ignore this side note) is take people who think they can cook and that they are good hosts and pit them against people of a similar disposition for a £1000 prize. That sounds good right? No just a cookery show crossed with a game show? Tell you what let’s make sure we find some people who are just wacky and think they are so unique that if they don’t win then its plainly just because the cosmos wasn’t aligned with Jupiter’s Uranus or whatever and mix them with people so conservative their children are made of tweed and inbreeding.

That is what is good about the programme it has car crash quality of some programmes but instead of letting these dangerous to society out on their own they have David Lamb holding the lead. Every barb sarcastic put down sends a shot of pure joy into my cerebellum.  Watching idiots who think they are special it seems is a lot more entertaining when a person who shares your views that they are an idiot is there too. Maybe it’s because I am a student and for some reason certain shows get a student following but when Come Dine with Me is on its everyone to action stations finish what you are doing and get sat down on that sofa to watch it.

Obviously people do get irritating and you can O.D on Come Dine with Me and find yourself hating the entire human race. Yes there are one or two normal humans on there but they are so overshadowed by the one person on there that loves to do experimental tantric yoga in their tweed Lycra while six cats climb into the soup that you forget that they exist.  Don’t get me wrong I adore Come Dine with Me but why anyone would agree to cook for a room full of people who will inevitably turn out to be total pricks is baffling. Then again if you win you get £1000 so maybe I can see the appeal.

Apparently Channel 4 are releasing a new show called Come Date with Me made by the same people and voiced over by David Lamb. I am not sure that idea has sold to me it sounds too much like Blind Date with numbers to me. So, for me at least,  Come Dine with Me is the ruler supreme of this little motley crew. Tell you what I do want though, Come Dine with Me the celeb chef special. Gordon Ramsey calling Heston Blumenthal a useless tosser because his soufflé has sank slightly while Jamie Oliver and Nigella Lawson get down to some serious flirting and end up populating the world with a new breed of spud faced overly sexual cooks who want new down to earth ingredients used as sexual implements.

For the ramblings of a man who clearly has an unhealthy relationship with food Follow Andy on Twitter

About the author Andybrem92


Im a British Stand-up comic, Radio Panellist, Writer and Broadcast Journalism Student.   www.twitter.com/andybrem92

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