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The Royal Wedding on ITV: Review

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Written by : published Friday 29th April 2011

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I do not consider myself a royalist by any strech. I use money with the queens face on because the shops nearby stopped accepting my home made pound coins with a photo of the pringles man taped to the side.This is why I have a problem with the royal wedding I decided to watch this elitist ceremony on ITV which has done exactly what I've expected it to.  ITV has a reputation for being "accessable to the working class" which should read being incredibly dumbed down. The idea of a royal wedding is not a tricky concept nor should it ever be but ITV have managed to make it so simple yet so complicated it is painful. The most worrying thing is that this programme lasted the entire day. This is because its cheap and if anyone points out the fact its a waste of time we are told that its British and it is part of our culture and heritage.


I'm sorry I don't see it that way I see it as ITV putting on cheap television that will distract people from the actual issues of the world. If this was Joyce and Barry from Yorkshire getting married no-one would give a thundering fuck but because it just so happens that its a family that have somehow through many generations  been considered royal we suddenly have to march the streets. The only time there should be that many people in the streets is when we finally snap and overthrow the hidden lizard overlords.


What I do like is that ITV have gotten involved. The reporters are in among the crowd actually being part of the event instead of simply commenting on it. The problem with this is that when you’re involved obviously you’re not going to have an objective view you’re going to feel the “magic.” The people who are in the crowds are obviously royalists and obviously love being there or they wouldn’t be there! One woman was talking about how no-one was standing up for the Queen when she came on screen. She was in Hyde Park as were all the people she was with! The Queen couldn’t see them. Does she spend her time on her feet during the Christmas speech?  Royal Weddings are the ideal way to get rid of the people who are a terrifying drain on an intellectual society. If you are willing to camp out on a pavement for two days to see something that you can watch on, oh let’s just say a magic box in the corner of your sitting room then you should be rounded up in the vans.


The thing that annoys me about the royal wedding is the fact we have been told we should care. My cousin got married recently and I didn't go to the ceromony for that, I rocked up to the reception drank vast quantities of cider and sambuca all the while winding up and insulting every member of my extended family with my father. This is what I would watch, if Prince Harry gets married I don't mind if they put the "Royal Wedding Programme" on all day so long as when we hit the watershed it suddenly changes to "The Royal Wedding: After Dark" and I get to see the Queen pissed and having a rap battle with Prince Phillip.


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About the author Andybrem92


Im a British Stand-up comic, Radio Panellist, Writer and Broadcast Journalism Student.   www.twitter.com/andybrem92

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